Twas the Night Before the 1st Day of School

All I can say is what?!

How is it that a year ago I was sitting in a college classroom listening to yet another boring lesson about the Jesuit's core curriculum and now here I am getting ready for my first day of school. How is it that I'm ONLY 22 and someone trusts me enough to watch over 6 kids everyday? And they're not your typical go-with-the-flow kids either. But challenging, manipulative, disrespectful, loving, grateful 10 year olds.

Yesterday I cried about six times and then I lost count. I learned that one of my students has a terminally-ill mother who, if she hasn't already, will pass in the next month or so. Why does this happen to little guys like my friend?! In talking with the social worker and his previous teacher, they both said, "Katie, he's looking for a mom right now and you have to be that for him." Cue all the tears. I have a feeling my own mom is going to have a lot of advice for me on that one.

My class was not set up entirely the way I wanted it to be. I'd like to blame the IT department for that one :) I finally have access to my email but still don't have a working desktop :))))))))))) Can you sense the sarcasm in the number of extra smiles I put?? Luckily MOST of my materials are printed. The room still needs a lot of TLC. Apparently, so do the kids. However, other teachers have little to no classroom materials set up so I'm at least in somewhat of the same boat. 

Okay maybe not the same boat but we're at least floating on the same lake. I hope.

I had a mini meltdown and thought, "There's no way I can do this! I'm too young for this. I have no idea what I'm doing. This year is going to be a wreck." Then I did what I always do when I have meltdowns--called my cheerleading bestie/counselor/basically sister Ms. Rachel Berry. I call her Rachel because she looks exactly like Rachel Berry from Glee and I just loooovvvveeeee Glee. I'm a self-proclaimed Gleek and I'm proud of it! Rachel did as she always does: listens to me vent, empathizes with me, tells me I'll be okay, and walks me through my nervousness :) All praise Rachel Berry. Insert praying hands emoji.

Ahhh today is the first day of school for me. But this time as a teacher. (Again, please refer to the first sentence of this blog post) I'm a mixed bag of emotions: nervous, excited, proud, and downright terrified. However, the only emotion my kids will see is confidence! Hopefully they don't see right through me :)

Tomorrow I'll be posting about my first day! However, if I'm 50 shades of #teachertired, then I'll postpone it until Friday. How's that for teacher self-care??

P.S I had a couple of photos to add to this post but completely forgot and am too lazy to grab my phone from the next room over. I'll update it later!